Simpedia

Karen G., Tennessee

Hi Amy,

Back when I first started teaching, before the “relationship conversation” was put out there as a conversation to have, I began to notice that many, if not most of the kids I worked with who just really LOVED Level 1, always wanted to practice, never balked at anything, etc. began to hit a wall in Level 2. After seeing this happen a few times, I began to prepare the parents to expect this and things started going more smoothly. This was BEFORE the recording with the relationship conversation… of course when the relationship conversation recording came out I knew immediately what it was that I had been observing.

I still see the valleys in Level 2, but it rarely becomes a major issue because I make sure the parents are prepared. I think in general, this happens at this point (at least with my students) because, at least in part, the novelty has worn off. After 2 – 3 months of lessons, it’s now more of the same old, same old and even work! This is where the parents need to decide if they really are committed to the program. It’s easy for them to be the coach when they don’t have to do much, not as easy when the first valley hits. You really have an opportunity to help mom learn how to help her daughter. I wonder if she (the child) has a history of quitting things after a couple of months and/or when things get a little hard and are no longer ‘fun’.

I know you say this little girl is getting everything easily (but you didn’t mention how many lessons she has had)… and it may be she is.. but it may also be that she is feeling pushed or pressured…. quiet unintentionally, I am sure. (And there isn’t necessarily a correlation between how they feel and what they can do.) Is she a perfectionist? My students with perfectionistic tendencies often balk at moving forward because they so dread a possible failure that they would rather not try at all instead of try and not play it perfectly the first time. In those cases, I make sure I break the songs down into such tiny bites that they can’t HELP but succeed.

You might also try acknowledging something IS hard when she says it is hard rather than telling her you know she will do her usual good job. She may feel that you are not hearing what she is saying when you just tell her you know she will succeed. She may be balking in an effort to get you to really HEAR what she is trying to say. While I’m sure it’s not your intent, the underlying message, I believe, to a comment like that (i.e. that you know she will do her usual good job) is that you have certain expectations for her to live up to. If she is feeling at all uncertain, this could be compounding the problem.

The longer I teach SM (I have been teaching for about 6 1/2 years now), the more I am beginning to realize just how critical it is to get the generative and creative side going from the beginning. I think the more they play around with composing and improvising, the more they see this as ‘their’ music. For instance, I have found that if I play Honey Dew on the lower end of the keyboard while they improvise on the upper end, they gain a new delight in what they are able to create and even those who feel they are utterly incapable of playing anything on their own soon discover that they CAN make their own music. So if you aren’t having her compose/improvise, I’d start spending time on that.

I’d also ask her to find a different way to play the songs she already knows… she might play with her hands 2 or 3 octaves apart, up higher on the keyboard or down low, or she might decide she wants to cross her hands over each other. Again, the idea is to get her to take ownership of the songs and keep them fresh.

I wouldn’t give any ground on Alma Mater Blues. If she is objecting to the actual phrase, find another one. You might even make a game out of it, see who can come up with the silliest phrase with the same rhythm or have her write words to Alma Mater Blues and sing while she plays!

I don’t have a LOT of under 7s in my SM program, but I do also teach Kindermusik and see about 90 kids under the age of 5 a week. I find silliness often works when other things don’t. Spur of the moment games can also help. For instance, one thing that comes to mind when you say she wouldn’t try the rhythm for the second section, I might move away from the keyboard and have her play a copycat game with me… where the ultimate goal would be to tap out the rhythm in the lap, but a step at a time… for instance, I’d tap both hands together on my lap, have her copy it… Then do that again… maybe even a third or fourth time… Then I’d tap both hands followed by the left hand.. have her copy…. etc. until she has the whole pattern. You might take turns with her, too, let her tap out a pattern for you to follow… then you tap out a pattern for her to follow. That might be all I do in the lesson. The following week, I might repeat the pattern game and then depending on her receptivity, either repeat the game, or show her how it relates to Alma Mater Blues. Does that make sense?

While some kids at this age truly will ‘test’ you, often, they are just trying to communicate with you discomfort with something. I really enjoy the challenge of working with the younger kids because it really keeps me on my toes. They can really motivate me to keep looking for new ways to keep things fresh.

I hope some of this helps.

Claire L.

My approach is to be honest: you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.  Free the child from having to like the blues, and instead build her a metaphor that makes sense to her about why we do some things even when we don’t want to.

Christine M., Australia

I have had a seven year old boy tell me that he hated Jackson Blues, and wouldn’t learn it – or so he said.  This particular boy has a few emotional anxieties that dominate his world so I just let it go on the first week.  He didn’t realize that the three chords we did after his announcement were the right hand for Jackson Blues.  The next week he played that right hand for me while I played the left hand of Jackson Blues – he was surprised to see he could play half of that song already but still hated it…. and we continued on like this for weeks, doing the left hand on 1 one week (while I did the right hand).adding it on IV the next week etc.

Every lesson he’d say “Oh no not that one again I hate it Hate it Hate it”, So I’d say “Ok you can hate it if you want but play the left hand for me anyway and I’ll do the right” – you get the jist – playful but firm…and then we’d do something else so the pressure was off.

Well – this week he said he likes Jackson Blues and then he played it by himself, unasked, and perfectly too. WOW!!!!!!

My conclusion is that it was something he perceived as too hard – and he was scared of it, he didn’t believe he could learn it. Saying he hated it was a great cover for him – it meant if he failed it was because he hated it – not because he tried and it was too hard for him. This week was also the first week that he leapt in with confidence at the next new song, and in fact asked for the first time “so what’s next?” instead of “Not another song!” . It happened to be Bishop Street Blues (I couldn’t believe my luck at the timing and was very careful to only introduce some of the right hand so we didn’t go back to him feeling fearful) I’m hoping that he is finally trusting me that the songs I’m teaching him are songs he will be able to learn. (So far he has had 13 lessons).

Well, that was my experience of “I hate this song” – and I have found that Alma Mater Blues is a pretty big step for our young students – it sounds really hard, and is a little more intricate than the others and needs a little more effort and practice. This might be the first time this child has found something hard in this program and she’s shocked and discouraged – hating it is a logical reaction to this – as well as a great cover for her without admitting that she’s finding it hard. She’s maybe just not ready for that extension yet – You could try playing it as a duet in the lesson, swapping sides, and going on with other songs….Don’t make an issue of it, but keep it alive in the lessons at least. Maybe one day it won’t feel too hard and she’ll be empowered by the song instead of threatened by it.

I hope this helps. My experience is limited, but I hope sharing my experience with this boy can help. Good luck.

Beth S., Tennessee

I’ve had a couple of students who encountered a real problem with Alma Mater. One adult in particular just hated it along with all the other blues. We have worked on it for weeks at a time, no, actually months. She’d get the rhythm in the lesson but then go home and mess it up again.

I used to think a student had to get a song perfectly before I could go on, but now I do it differently, especially when there’s a big snag. We just keep working on it every week but continue to move forward. If I had insisted she continue with Alma before going on, I would’ve probably lost her as a student, and she is one student I really enjoy, despite the challenge.

In keeping it in the homework, but still moving on, she was able to still be enthused with a new song, and eventually Alma came around. I didn’t know if it ever would, but just last week she played it and it was actually quite good.  She still doesn’t really like the song, but what she learned was a life lesson, not just a song. She used to say that she would never be able to play it right. I continued to contradict her and say, “Oh, yes you will!” despite being unsure myself. Now that she has conquered it, she is more confident with the next challenge.

Cindy B., Illinois

Three things I noticed in your account –

1st, the red flag – was when the Mom replied about this non practicing thing being inevitable. If Mom believes that non-practicing is inevitable, she lacks the vision we need to impart to the parents, and she’s stuck in the reading based perspective, where non practicing IS inevitable.

2nd – get rid of the humpty dumpty lyrics and substitute “Here’s Al-ma Ma-ter”

3rd – make sure she’s using the video effectively. Most bright students find that they can get through level one without ever using the video. Unfortunately, at some point that becomes impossible, and if the video skills aren’t developed when it’s “easy” – the student will falter and fail.