High Maintenance Adult Student
Found in: Adult Students, Claiming Territory, Student Management
Ginny B., AU
I need help with an adult student who has been my private student for several months. She started as part of a group but her piano partner quit lessons after a short time. I allowed her to continue at the group rate with the understanding that I could add a partner at any time.
As I do not permit students to take notes, she constantly expresses concern that she is not allowed to write down arrangements, make footnotes to the foundational songs, etc. I assure her each lesson that she doesn’t need to take notes that SM is a way of learning that is unique and not difficult and we will take everything in small steps and she will be able to manage just fine without notes. I also refer her to the video and she watches it at home but says she still needs notes. I will not let her take notes at her lesson. Now she is calling me every week with questions about the lesson because I will not let her take notes. In the end she has taken notes from our phone conversation. I am frustrated that I am not making more progress with this belief that she needs written notes. I might add, she is doing well and loves the program.
Also, she is wanting to change her lesson time when she’s away and anticipates needing more time to practice. I just changed her time for next week but I want to make it clear that I cannot re-arrange my schedule to accommodate her when her schedule doesn’t allow for practice time. How can I explain this clearly and tactfully?
Has anyone ever encountered these issues with adult students? I would appreciate feedback.
Laurie Richards, Nebraska
It sounds like she is wanting to dictate the terms of her lessons in several areas. I’ve had so many adult students say the same things about taking notes. They typically don’t believe you when you tell them they don’t need notes.
What I have said in that situation is, “I understand that you really believe you need to take notes. I totally get it. But I have seen the results my students achieve when I follow Neil’s program. He has a reason for this design in the program, and it works. I am not willing to settle for less from myself as a teacher, nor for you as my student, and in my studio I require that you learn arrangements without note-taking here or at your home. You have to give it some time for your brain to begin processing things differently. Are you willing to give it an honest effort so you can really see the benefits?”.
I usually talk about how this kind of activity for the brain is so good for warding off Alzheimer’s. If you’re not really sure about what the benefits of arrangements are, here are a few:
- Prepares students to be more self-generative as they learn to apply playing-based tools in arrangements
- Helps their brains learn to process more in “chunks” rather than individual notes, which aids memory (because they know they have no notes to refer to later!)
- Provides them with many tools to draw on with regard to comp & improv
- It actually can be a pretty powerful lesson in what our brains really can do. Adults so often join in on the same refrain – “I’m too old, I can’t remember anything”. If you teach them HOW to go about remembering – play as soon as you get home, remember the pb tools, not the individual notes, etc. – they can realize that they are capable of much more than what they would like to admit.
Also, I know your studio is growing Ginny, and you will probably find that you just won’t have the time to cater to individual students as much (phone calls with questions, changing the lesson time frequently). You may need to just explain to her some policies that you are finding necessary to implement as your business grows. I would personally get her in a group as soon as humanly possible. Then students can call each other with questions and have extra support.
I guess the main underlying issue is that she wants to dictate things, and it’s getting frustrating for you. Are you willing to tell her what needs to change, and possibly lose her as a student if she doesn’t like it?