Combining special needs student with younger students
Found in: Shared Lessons, Special Needs & Learning Differences
Susan M., Canada
I need help to navigate a new challenge. A 10-year-old boy with ADHD/LD has been taking private lessons. His 6-year-old brother is in a shared lesson. This past year, the 6-year-old’s progress has caught up with the older boy so I announced that it was time for them to group together – knowing that soon the younger ones will overstep the older. The 10-year-old feels very upset by the idea of joining the younger, and it resulted in an emotional hit. I will be meeting mom to discuss (she is against brothers sharing). The special needs creates a challenge, so I’m prepared to keep them separate, but maybe this is an opportunity to explain that I teach what I feel is appropriate for each class – not to manage brother competition…?
Cate R., Australia
Maybe you could do a crossover class where the older brother takes the first 15 minutes, younger brother joins for 15 minutes maybe to do accompaniment or rhythms, and the younger one takes the last 15.
Rebecca G., Colorado
Just make sure you’re really clear that putting them in a class together is actually in the best interest of each of them from a learning perspective. You’d need to be able to explain that very clearly to them and to the mom.
If you’re already fairly sure the younger will outpace the older, what exactly is the reasoning for putting them together? Kids with special needs (which includes ADHD) often have very different needs from us as their teachers than children without those learning challenges. It’s possible the older brother needs a place where he can feel successful in his own right without feeling compared to his younger brother.
I actually think it is important to try and help manage things like sibling competition – after all, your goal is the success of each of your students, and that’s going to happen differently for each student.
I would add that helping a family discern what’s best for them and their kids (which includes input from them) should not be confused with conceding territory. It’s a compassionate strategy to help students and families feel loved, valued, and heard. That will ultimately enable them to feel even more dedicated to you and to playing…and you will feel SO empowered as a teacher by all of that.
Rochelle G., California
The last thing you want is for piano lessons to be seen as a bad thing, where the older brother feels bad and the younger brother could possibly feel bad for outshining his older brother. Nor do you want to be seen as ignoring the needs and desires of the family whether they have special needs or not. Using “teacher knows best” to navigate the normal resistance to change that all humans have is one thing, but sometimes there are many other factors involved.
I have merged and split apart lots of classes in the last four years, and I’ve learned to speak to parents first before I do anything, and to not try to push something if it doesn’t seem like a really natural fit. With any type of special needs my first assumption would be that they need perhaps a bit more time to prepare for a change anyway, and to ask the parents how that student would possibly react to a change, and ask for the parents’ input on what they see as the best course of action. If the parent sees you coming alongside of them to be a team in planning the best learning experience for their child, that goes a long way. You may have a loyal family for life! If they feel like you’re not really listening or paying attention to their needs (whether you perceive them to be valid or not, they do), then loyalty is not nurtured nor is the relationship.
