Simpedia

Claire C. Pennsylvania

Sorry about the rude way this parent treated you. Texts for dropping lessons, seem cowardly. I know from experience that parents don’t abide by a 30 day notice. They usually drop when they want. Hopefully, they don’t owe you money. I’ve experienced this from working at a music school as well as from my own business. It will be interesting to see what others say.

Missy M. Nebraska

Awkward things like this will happen and they happen to all of us. Some people are embarrassed or scared to discontinue so they do hide behind their texts and emails. That has happened to me. I always make sure that I am polite because you never know when you will bump into people at the store etc. I am sure that many in our culture have forgotten good etiquette and manners and really don’t think about other people’s feelings.

If it were me, I’d drop it and chalk it up as something that you don’t need to understand. Try not to take it personally. There are plenty of good people out there who “get it” and will be enjoyable as you continue lessons. This person is obviously not a good fit for you. Sometimes this is just the way wrong-fits work themselves out.

Take it easy and keep your head up.

Nancy W. North Dakota

I can so relate! I just lost my first student via texting. I had set up two special private lessons for this student because they couldn’t make it to group due to swimming lessons. I received a text from the mom five minutes before the scheduled lesson apologizing for the late notice, but they would not make the lesson, no other explanation. I did not hear a word from her until two days before the next scheduled lesson when she called, left a message, which I returned and got her answering machine. She then texts me they will no longer be continuing lessons in the fall. She had a baby this spring. They are reevaluating for their family and it is too much for her to drive out to my house (10 minutes) and participate in the lessons. They just completed Foundation Level 1. She wants me to call her to get the books back so someone else can use them and fill her daughter’s spot. By this time, they have missed two lessons. I have called her and left a message almost two weeks ago and still have not heard from her.

It is hard not to take it so personally, especially when I address the long term relationship aspect quite frequently, if not weekly. I am trying not to let it get me down and realize that God gives us students for a season and for whatever reason they are taken away. My task is to be faithful to the students set before me and not look back! However, I do agree in this texting age it does seem a bit impersonal to end a student/teacher relationship in this manner. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

Ruth M. Washington

That is very unpleasant and I am so sorry. She really just sent a message loud and clear that she could not deal with the situation. I had a student once who sent me in reply to an email after a missed lesson which said we missed her and what she had worked on , that kind of thing.
Her reply was” Daughter is not so much into practice lately.” That was it, that was the last that I heard from her! No answer to calls, no answer to email. Some people have a very odd way of communicating or rather not communicating. I did not try to win them back. It is not worth the struggle to please. I will not take her back if they decide to try again. I think she may have done this to Rob L. before she came to me! We need an early warning system!

Rochelle G. California

This actually sounds like something a friend of mine might do. And yes, she is an interesting parent. For whatever reason (and obviously she has decided not to share that with you) this student and her mom are done. Since you did not have time to build a lasting relationship with them any further contact from you may not be appreciated in the spirit in which you would intend it. If they ever contacted you about lessons again, I would then start a conversation regarding long term relationships, expectations, coach’s role, etc. and show “tough love” about even letting them back into your program. If they get on board fine, but don’t move an inch from your program.

So….I would let this one go….they have their own agenda….or maybe even something major happened in their lives that is preventing them from lessons. Mom doesn’t want to enter into a conversation about it so who can tell? Anyway, keep your head up, this is one of the interesting stories we all have and it has everything to do with where they are as people, not where you are as a teacher.

Jacqui G. Canada

I haven’t started teaching Simply Music yet (just finished training) but I have dealt with similar situations as a Kindermusik teacher, and it really hurts. A text brush-off gives you no opportunity to achieve “closure”. Furthermore, since she didn’t tell you why she decided to leave, all you can do is speculate.

Try not to worry about it. Some people just can’t deal with face-to-face confrontations. And who knows? Maybe it was her husband’s decision, not hers, and she felt guilty about telling you. Her conversation sounds rehearsed, as if she wanted to leave no room for argument.

You handled it very nicely.

But it could have been worst – at least she didn’t break it to you by changing her Facebook status to “no longer in a piano lesson relationship”…

Jo D. AU

I had a student who came to me for nearly two years (we switched from traditional to SM lessons last October). This girl of nine years was definitely ruling the roost and the parents were wrapped around her finger. I tried the best I could and she didn’t attend the last three lessons of term – various excuses were texted to me 10mins before her lesson each week until finally the last text said she wouldn’t be continuing as “she refuses to practice!”
I thought it was quite rude not to even get a phone call after nearly two years together but I am realizing that everyone comes from a different place and I just have to love them and let them go. Interestingly the text also said she was starting guitar lessons next term which made me giggle given her track record of lack of practice routines. A few weeks later I got a thank you card in the mail, which was nice.
I can’t remember who said it but I think of this often…. Join the quack quack club and let it just slide off your back and move on to students and families who really want to learn and appreciate you!