Simpedia

Cindy B., Illinois

In my experience, middle school is when the parents become even more critical to the success of their children than at any other time. The students I have who have stuck with lessons through the transition into middle school are the ones whose parents have stepped up in their own commitment to the program. I’ve had private conferences with such families, discussing whatever is the issue – oftentimes the schedule is the excuse, but in reality, middle school is a time when so many other interests compete with music, and the student grabs onto the scheduling difficulties as an excuse that parents will believe to quit piano.

Middle school also represents a transition from pure childhood to childhood plus some adult responsibilities and stresses. The schedule IS a big issue if the parent isn’t prepared to deal with it – I remember when my son hit middle school and I wasn’t prepared. He often declared that he didn’t have ANY free time. Then he entered high school, and declared that it was even worse that mid school, and he REALLY didn’t have any free time. THEN he hit college, and was amazed that he ever thought life was busy before. College life provided him with NO free time at ALL. THEN he graduated, got a job, and a wife, and 3 kids. NOW he REALLY has to juggle the ingredients in his life to find some free time.

LOL. If I had been more prepared by knowing all this ahead of time, I might have been a bigger help to my son. As it is, I help my piano families prepare, and realize that middle school represents an opportunity to train children for the real world.

Christa S., Ohio

I am brand new to Simply Music and haven’t encountered this problem with SM students yet. But, with my traditional students, I encourage them to practice during the commercials of their favorite show. Before the show comes on, open up the music to a trouble spot. Work on it during the commercial breaks. I think this could easily be adapted to Simply Music learning and terminology. It is amazing how much time middle schoolers actually do have. I also have encouraged playing one piece through ( a different one each night) before brushing teeth before bed. This sets it up as a life habit.

Barbara M., New Jersey

I have been recommending that piano is attached to homework time – just before it. I explain that music will charge the brain with energy for all kinds of learning. If homework occurs first, the student may be too tired for piano. Since most parents value homework highly and will make sure time is set aside for it, attaching practice to homework can work well.

Louise H., Michigan

I think there is more to this than just a middle school issue. I have the same problem in May when softball/baseball/soccer/track starts. I have 4 children, all of whom participated in sports at some point in their lives, and it appears that there are more demands placed on the kids now in terms of being to practices and meets/games than ever before.

Also, kids are trying to do more things than ever before. I am amazed that a coach can ask for 6-8 hours a week from a parent/child for children as young as 8, and receive their immediate compliance, and I struggle to get 2 1/2 hours of practice a week out of them! It is out of balance. Perhaps Michigan is unusual, but I have a feeling that it happens across the states. I am also amazed that a dedicated parent/child can drop piano in the blink of an eye when sport season begins.

Melani M., Georgia

I have to agree with Louise… sports are of the utmost importance here in Georgia, too. It seems that sports activities trump everything else. I have had students not show up for recitals they had planned and prepared for, because the coach called at the last minute and requested they fill in on a team. I think it’s a battle we can’t win. I do give them my little mini-lecture about how music will last them a lifetime, but they will only play sports for a little while. Of course, they don’t get it. I’m learning now why teachers have to keep marketing to get new students!

Amy Y., New Mexico

It’s not just Michigan, even here in New Mexico, a very laid back state, demands from some activities are crazy, and I have talked to parents who were scolded by their kids’ coaches for wanting their kids to be home for dinner…

But I have also talked to parents who insist that the only way their kids can learn time management is when their kids’ appointment books are full, unfortunately usually all the appointments are activities involving others and these kids become passive when on their own, and become very dependent on peer interactions for getting anything done. Maybe that’s a couple of things that we can hit on with their life coaches that we are helping the kids learn self-discipline, and independent time management skills. Unfortunately for parents, myself included, I think it’s a lot easier to drop the kids off and have someone else coach them or even just going to a different physical location to get a particular task done is easier than trying to get the kids do things at home. I almost think that if we ask the kids to go somewhere for 1/2 hour at a set time 5 days a week to practice they might have a better chance of getting it done.

Maybe I feel pretty strongly about this subject because I was not prepared to manage my own time well. After my first two kids, I took some time off, then continued working part time by telecommuting. I had no set time and just had to get in 20hr/wk. I never realized how much I was dependent on the external factors of set hours and location to get my work done. At home, there was always one more thing to do before sitting down to work and I’m sure our students can always find one more thing to do before practice where as if they had to go somewhere at a certain time, I’m almost certain that they are made to drop their other “have to do” things and shooed out the door (at least that ‘s what happens in my house).

I guess we really need to help the life coaches see the benefit of self-discipline, independence, perseverence when your friends are not immediately cheering from the sideline, and time management skills that practicing teaches kids which is so important for success in life and that often these cannot be gained from sports or other group activities.

Terah W., Kansas

What a great conversation and a constant issue in our culture today.

Many adults are not that good at managing their time, etc., either making one wonder if the System at work after graduation!

One thing I do in my FIS is share a lively story about my idea of fun as a child. My friends and I would play outside until dark in the summertime like most kids. My parents would turn on the lamp at the end of our driveway when it was time to come in. Sometimes, waiting until the very last minute to go in, we would stand around the lamp in the street (a dead-end street) and practice cart-wheels, round abouts and handsprings. We would see how slowly (and in our minds, perfectly!) we could do a walkover. We loved gymnastics! (Until I was about 15, I thought everyone did this! )…Just as I love(d) music–playing then with a natural ear and ease I still have and use.

Then I ask them point blank, ‘guess which activity I still participate in?’ Sometimes I vary the story with how much money parents slap down for any number of things for school–especially sports–without so much as blinking an eye. Then I ask what the odds are of little Johnny playing for the NFL.  Or doing gymnastics after work for that matter—(with their friends in the dark on the asphalt…:) Then I ask, ‘what activities are you exposing them to that will stay with them as a life-long companion’…pointing out that SM equips them for just that…

This story telling has the potential for all kinds of embellishing for the telling. Even if they just give a verbal assent or a nod of the head!! And believe it or not, sometimes it’s the first time they have ever thought about it. And I figure that even if I never see them again, at least I’ve planted a seed!

I don’t think this issue will ever go away but it can be talked about and sometimes made great use of to acquire and keep students and families if our conversation ‘reaches’ them…

PS One of my most committed families of 4 who are all learning came out of this very conversation! It was a lengthy one and involved a longer than usual email about the cost and benefit over time but they ‘saw’ it, made the decision to make music a priority and haven’t looked back yet.

Carol P., Michigan

Amy, I really hear what you’re saying about managing your own time when you are working from home. I experience the same thing in my own practicing. I find when I sit down to practice, all kinds of other things that I need to do pop into my head and if I give into those demands I get no practicing done. I discovered several years ago that if I keep a pad of paper next to the piano and write down the things that cross my mind for attention later, all things are more likely to get done. I have recommended this to other adult students.

Dixie C., Washington

This is a soapbox of mine. I promise I’ll only stay on it for a moment. I believe we are destroying the genius of our society by filling children’s schedules to the max. Genius is born out of time to contemplate, consider, & create. When do these overscheduled children have that opportunity. I feel so strongly about this that I won’t accept a student if the parent even hints at how busy their child is & how they may have trouble getting the practice in as required. (This next statement may be a bit inflammatory, but it’s just how I feel.)  I believe it’d be better for a child never to have taken piano lessons than to have taken them & experienced a sense of failure. I share this with parents from the get-go. OK, I’m done.

Leslie S., Utah

As a mother of 8- practice time for anything is always an issue- and teaching and getting the same age group to practice a challenge! I found telling my students and my own kids when they were younger to ‘walk-by practice’

Every kid likes to just ‘walk -by’ their piano and make noise! I’ve just encouraged them over the years to ‘make noise’ with the things they need to learn! I am a new SM teacher myself and I am finding that the SM ‘walk-by’ music they can play are excellent- I used to have them ‘walk-by’ and do chord inversions, scales..then leave the piano and go to school, go do homework, THEN when they had time later in the day to sit and practice what was needed.

But the technique of practice was done. Every one of my former students already had chords in their hands as patterns- adding the basic 10 songs now they can walk-by and play those. When it comes time to practice, they can sit down and play the variations, make up things of their own, watch the student video – ‘walk-by’s takes the stress out of the equation. Older students just make sure they walk by with more of a challenge to maybe play the chords in 7ths!