Simpedia

Louise H., Michigan

I am in Michigan too, and I feel your pain! My Kindermusik business has gone under, but amazingly my Simply Music lessons are thriving.

I am sure we are all going to agree that this is a claiming territory issue. Here’s what I would do. I would tell the mother at the next lesson that I can see she is in the middle, and that I plan on talking to her husband directly, rather than going through her. I would ask him his concerns, find out why he feels it is so important to read, ask him if he had ever had a client (he’s a lawyer, right) who wanted to dictate how things needed to be done, even though he (the dad) knew best otherwise. Then I would firmly tell him that you know best how to teach, and the reading process needs to wait until the girls have a strong foundation of songs. And I wouldn’t keep them if he chooses to take them somewhere else. Although that might prove to him that the girls love your teaching style more! Stick to your guns and be willing to lose the students if necessary.

He sounds like he wants to be in charge, but not involved. And you do need to believe in yourself. I was scared to do reading at first too, even though I have been teaching piano for years. I so LOVE the playing based part of the program that introducing reading seemed alien to me. And I was scared I wouldn’t do it right. But it works. Trust the process.

Having six year old children at the end of book 3 seems WAY too fast to me. Are you doing accompaniment I? I have started children at that age and it usually takes us at least 20 weeks to get through level 1. They need more time to absorb the material or they will hit a big wall in level 4. A red flag to me was your comment that they were having trouble remembering the songs. I have “ketchup” days where we don’t learn anything new but just play, sing, play games and have fun. The kids usually give a big sigh of relief when they realize they can relax at that lesson. Don’t let the parents dictate the pace. Your answer to the mom who says she wants them to learn more, needs to be that they need to master what they currently have before you can move to new material. You can’t pour more water into a full barrel.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Cheryl G., Pennsylvania

My take on this is that the parents are not supporting the children in the program. The parents don’t “get” the program and are not following through with the videos and the correct practice at home. In my experience, when the parents are unsupportive, or when the teacher allows the student or parent to do things their way, things start to fall apart. For example, the parents will allow the children to ‘forget’ to watch the videos or not make a definite practice time in their schedule so the kids don’t practice enough. They see music lessons as an extracurricular activity, along with horseback riding lessons and karate. They would probably prefer another drop-your-kids-off activity. They might be interested or intrigued by the program but not enough to do what it takes to support their children in it. Reading-based piano lessons might not require as much parental commitment, depending on the teacher and on the parent.

Some of my students have been very attention deficit and have found it very hard to concentrate and to listen to instruction from me. I allowed one mother to take notes because her son just ‘could not’ remember and also could not focus on the videos. She refused to believe me when I told her that her son would do things wrong on purpose. Over time, he became dependent on her to guide him through the songs. He was not responsible for his own learning. In level four and in the reading program things really fell apart and finally her son (his decision of course) didn’t want piano lessons anymore. The mother was very committed to her son’s piano lessons as long as her son wanted the lessons. But she didn’t understand how the program worked, and evidently neither did I!

I had another student who didn’t like to watch the videos. Her father, who had a classical music background and often asked me questions on technique, did not insist that she watch them. In Level 3 things started to fall apart. They asked for reading-based lessons from me. They ended up leaving.

After about 6 years of teaching SM, I am still working at “getting it” myself, meaning that I’m realizing more and more that the SM program is not about learning more and more songs. It’s not enough to play the songs, even if they’re played perfectly. If they aren’t aware of the learning tools, and have just memorized the songs by ear or by motor memory, then things are likely to start falling apart when the songs get harder and more complicated. Part of this process for me as a teacher is learning to insist that the program guidelines be followed, and that if they aren’t followed because either I and/or the parents allow it, then the results will be forfeited, and you might as well kiss the students goodbye sooner than later, because it’s inevitably not going to work.

It seems like most of my very young students are taking at least 25 lessons to go through Level 1, although I have one 6 year old Chinese girl who got to the beginning of Level 4 in one year, but her parents are both doctors and she is exceptionally bright and musical.

Robin T., Tennessee

I don’t quite yet have any students in reading either, but I have a mother who can be also very domineering. She has on numerous times been very rude to me, but I always stand my ground. In fact, she is the student who has been with me the longest. She recently said to me, “Her grandmother says she isn’t really playing if she isn’t reading music” and I said, “REALLY? Well, next time she is here, ask her to play an E flat suspended chord or a C flat minor chord (he, he, I love confusing people with that one). Then, ask your daughter to do it and she’ll see that she can do it.” She hasn’t brought it up since. Now, of course, that comes from the accompaniment program, but it is something that I FAILED MY THEORY CLASS trying to do in College. And, now, my students are learning it.

My father is a lawyer, and I have had to stand up to him many times on the music issue, so I can definitely understand how intimidating that can be. However, I think that you should do as Louise said and speak with him. And, depending on his response, I would make it a policy that you can not continue teaching them should they choose an alternative program. It will SOOOO confuse the kids and just drive you crazy. I can’t imagine how you could teach SM to someone who was also taking traditional. Don’t be afraid to loose that student. I know times are tough, but in the long run, it will turn out. They will most likely find that they were better off with you, however the father may not be able to get past admitting he was wrong and returning to you. I do agree that the kids are VERY far along to be that age. 5 and 6 year olds take a bit more time, I think, because they haven’t fully developed their motor skills (specifically, individual finger movements). I’ve got a number of students that are that age, but I’m very careful about not only how much info I give them, but also Controlling the EVENTS!

Beth S., Tennessee

I taught an adult student for about a year and a half. Her main interest was to read music, but since she wasn’t beyond the beginning foundation songs in her approach to the piano, I convinced her to start at the beginning and wait. She learned very quickly and was very exciting for me to teach at first, but as time went on she became more and more controlling, insisting that I return her music books, bringing in her own music, etc.

Her impatience began to impede her progress. It eventually became miserable for me so that in the end, I was almost dreading to see her at the front door despite the close relationship we had developed. She took a leave of absence over the summer and fall and called me the first of January to come back. She had been at the beginning of the reading rhythm program when she left, but now coming back, she didn’t want to continue it. Said the marching around was silly and that she was too old (50’s) and didn’t have time in life to go this route, that she wanted to get straight to reading and wanted me to help her in her own projects.

First, I can’t believe the craziness of coming all the way to the door of her goal and then refusing to walk through. Secondly, I decided that one more student tuition per month is just not worth the stress that some people bring to my life. The fun and fulfillment of piano has to be not just for my students, but also for me as the teacher. If not, I know that eventually I will come to resent what I do and will pay way more in counselor fees!

Debbie V., Okalahoma

Hi, I too believe Dad is trying to run the show. Don’t let him. Tell him to watch Neil’s intro on the level one video and after he has done that, then you will discuss the reading issue with him. He has either never watched it or has totally forgotten and needs to get on board. If he refuses then you don’t have a choice but to let them go. They will probably hate the other method and want to come back, so leave the door open for this possibility.

If the girls continue, I would slow down and go back to review each level and learn the variations and at least some of the arrangements. Then I would introduce and start the accompaniment program where they are “reading” chords for a little while before starting level 4. You could also encourage them to make up some lyrics to known songs or make up their own songs even if you haven’t gotten their yet. Just praise them for all efforts is this area and don’t worry about the sound. If they have a melody you might help them come up with something simple on the left hand that sounds good.

Level 4 is a little more of a jump than the other levels so 1-3 needs to be solid first.
Hope this helps some!

Sharon B., AU

It’s important to stay true to yourself and the way you want to deliver SM- I had a similar situation where my student was taken back to Suzuki because of the reading issue. The mother has now phoned asking to return because the daughter misses the lessons, even though I can only take her every 2nd week.