Frustrated student with dyslexia
Found in: Coaches, Special Needs & Learning Differences
Sandy B., California
I have a dyslexic student who is 8 years old. She gets frustrated and cries at home for days and says the videos don’t help. Personally, I think the mother is a big contribution to this “giving up” because with me the girl does well…sometimes, slowly, but that’s fine. The mother wants her to quit because “she doesn’t need this stress”. She is also adopted from China. I want to help her have successes at home and help her frustrations at home. She has learned 8 of Level 1 songs and plays them well. The mother feels I don’t understand her dilemma. Any thoughts?
Cate R., Australia
Have you asked her how she uses the videos? Maybe run through a lesson where she shows you how she does things at home. Get her to set up like she is at home using the books and video. She may need help working the device for the video as yours may be different from hers. Ask the mother how/if she helps and show you what she does. Make it as stress-free as possible as stress can aggravate dyslexia.
Ian M., Indiana
Sounds to me like dyslexia is the least of your problems. I’m not sure the mom’s psychology is something you can overcome. If it were me, I would try to have a conversation with just the mom and say “Your daughter has learned eight songs so far and she plays them well. What if we both were to commit to helping her learn without applying the pressure of expectations? You can support her at home by reminding her of the various strategies we’re learning and encouraging her to use them all, not just focus on one or two. I’ll help by making sure we go slowly enough that she doesn’t get so frustrated”.
Then, of course, you follow through with your end – there’s no rush to do a level in a certain amount of time.
If the mom can’t agree, or if she does but can’t follow through and isn’t coachable, you may have to get ready to let them go. The child needs a life coach, and if the mom can’t be one, she is not going to learn how to deal with the occasional frustration.
Kerry V., Australia
It is true that the girl has leaned 8 songs but sometimes one gets to a level that they have to absorb the info to be able to more ahead so smaller chunks of something different but easy, showing achievement is a great way to go.
Carrie L., Michigan
I would suggest there is more to this than dyslexia. You can use it as an opportunity to work with her to gain confidence and trust. There may be undiagnosed challenges as well. A close friend’s son was adopted from China and he has a whole host of behavioral and developmental challenges as well as trauma. I would work with the mom and see how you can patiently bring her on board. She may be dealing with a lot at home. I do have a student with dyslexia that is doing beautifully. I also have a child with dysgraphia and there’s much more to a learning disability than not seeing words the same as most.
Kerry V., Australia
It depends on what “triggers” the dyslexia. I am not dyslexic but I do have dyslexia. One of the issues I have is being able to follow directions or instructions sometimes. So at times, depending on what my emotional trigger is, something has to be repeated many times. This could be months or years until I finally get it.
I find listening to the audio is the hardest thing to use. Watching the video works if I have it right there in front of me and can stop and start. Visual is better for me. And of course I have to repeat it many times.
So, depends on this little one’s strengths and weaknesses that you want to work with. Is it reading issues? Is it reversing issues? Is it multiple? Does she have any other learning difficulties? One of the things I found to be my biggest block is the emotions you feel when you think you ‘aren’t getting it’ or ‘you are dumb’ or ‘this is too hard’ or ‘what is wrong with me?’. The list goes on. Find out her triggers, what works, what is her weakness and work with that.