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Genevieve P., Utah

It sounds like you need to have a very frank conversation with this family and reset expectations for your studio. Make sure they understand you are a requirements based studio, and if they don’t hold up their side of the agreement they will not be able to continue as your students. I would let them know the requirements and then give then one month to show me they are serious. At the end of the month we would have another frank discussion and evaluation and see if we can continue or not.

One note about the homeschooler question… It doesn’t have anything to do with that. Regardless of how they are educated you get all kinds of families and personalities from every kind of schooling.

Patti P., Hawaii

This topic brought to mind one of the audio files (the title escapes me) in which Neil is talking to a teacher with a young child who doesn’t want to cooperate. This behavior can crop up at any age.

I agree with Genevieve that it’s time to have a conversation about your requirements. In addition to things like what their job is as a student (being willing to learn, which includes trying things that are difficult sometimes), I would include behavior when it is not your personal lesson time. I have many families who come together, and some of them have a teenager who takes a private lesson. I don’t allow wandering around my house, a point I generally make clear at the very first. They are expected to bring something quiet to do while they wait, and to remain seated in the studio area.

You gave up a lot of territory when you told the teen to forget about the project. If I have a student who hasn’t done a composition project, they still have to come to the piano and if nothing else, I help them get started with the first set of notes. I never let a student sit out composition time. Some students are much more resistant to it, but I just have to be very consistent and persistent. Eventually they realize this isn’t a negotiable thing!

I also don’t allow comments or making fun of another student in the studio. The sooner it’s addressed directly, the sooner it will stop, one way or another. The audio files on the website have some great examples on how to speak to students when you have to enforce a requirement.

I personally wouldn’t try to juggle two students doing two different things at two pianos simultaneously. If you’ve spent a few moments showing the mom a bit of a new arrangement, she could practice that on the keypad while the daughter is playing from her playlist. That would work better. But what you have then isn’t really a shared lesson, but two privates happening simultaneously (at least at that point).

I think it is beneficial for the younger one to watch you teach the arrangement to mom, even if she won’t be doing it for awhile. I’ve got some classes where one or two students are really quick learners. They are moving through arrangements faster, but everyone watches. I just tell them it will help them learn it when it’s their turn for that arrangement.

Do you check the playlist pieces frequently? Without that, students won’t really believe that they are actually responsible for keeping the playlist up.  I’ve required students to keep a number of pieces up for a long time, pre SM, and learned the hard way that if you don’t hear them regularly, the students will not do it. If everyone’s focus is on the new piece, that’s where all their effort goes. In all my years of teaching (which is more decades than I want to believe!), I’ve only had one student who just struggled to keep more than 3 pieces in her head at once. She had some learning difficulties outside of piano as well. In contrast, I’ve had others with fairly severe learning difficulties that kept every piece alive and well. So I would suspect that forgetting the pieces has more to do with how often they are played than anything else.

This family might do better in three separate groups if that’s possible. They might not be able to manage that, but being with students who are at their level would offer a lot of advantages for them. The teen might not be as resistant to things in an environment where other teens are cooperating and enjoying the process.

As Genevieve said, homeschooling has nothing to do with it. I have a large number of homeschoolers in my studio and they are great families to have.

Ruth M., Washington

Neil’s talk about “Telling Children the Truth ” comes to mind.

The simple answer is to simply state that you do not allow bullying in your studio, and that it needs to stop immediately.  If you say it quietly and firmly to her the minute she starts in, she won’t wonder what you mean.
You could also commend the little one for being brave enough to not only work on compositions, but to share something so wonderful with you and her classmates.

Finally, Kristin Fairfield, who is developing a composition workbook for us, talks about lowering the stakes in composition using projects that do not involve a lot of laying yourself on the line.  Perhaps she can share with you how that frees up the process.

Here is an example of something That I did in class the other day with some reluctant composers:

I told the first student to put 5 fingers over 5 notes, and since I was experimenting we put thumb on C. I told them to just play a bit right there “nice and short, it doesn’t matter what”.
Then I jumped in with “Great!!!” as soon as they had played a short phrase and I asked them to repeat it. “ooo I like that, show us again”.

I asked the next “robin” to try to duplicate the short pattern, the first person would guide as necessary.” fantastic ! play it again (then i drew a triangle on the board) one more time (drew another triangle) Now can you add a little something different to that using the same 5 notes?”

“love it ( I also sing the melody they have created to show them how musical it really is, they are just randomly playing, and I don’t leave time for experimenting,, whatever the play is perfect).  Then I ask them to play it again and I draw a star on the board and again and one more star.  “Can you remember the triangle part? ”

From this point we piece the triangle fragments and the star fragments together. Perhaps AA BB AA the next person plays through the sequence and adds a C part or a “fine”.  That whole sequence, when learned can be a short little melody or combined to make A section for a larger piece that can be pieced together of each patterned section. Or it can be an idea for inspiration,.” Write one more section that you think would fit after this at home”.

The results were lovely and there was no investment because I jumped on the very first thing that they played and ran with it.

I hope that made some kind of sense.  This type of activity could get the older sister involved with collaborative composing in a no threat situation.  Once she begins to lose her anxiety over composing, my guess is that she will not need to ridicule her more willing and daring younger sister, as she will not be a threat.