Losing A Student
Found in: Studio Management
Bernadette A. California
I am kind of bummed today and needed to share it with someone. Today, a parent informed me that their son will no longer be taking lessons with me. I knew that this day would come. He’s been a student of mine for 10 years – for as long as I’ve been teaching SM. It is bittersweet. They cited that the reason they were moving on was because he had too much to do and that he needed to work more on his reading (vs. playing-based). This past September, he started taking a piano class to fulfill a fine arts requirement for his schooling. Of course, the teacher has a traditional background and in the course of these past months has had an influence on my student probably saying that he needed to read more. I’m sure that is where they are getting the message. The funny thing is that he’s already reading. He brings in music all the time and reads them and reverse engineers them into his fingers. He’s completely memorized Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocket Man, Crossfire, Postcards just to name a few. So as hard as this is for me, I also know that he’s got a great foundation with SM. I told him that he’s got everything he needed to go and do whatever he wants to do. He’s self-generative and ‘m so proud of him. We have a great relationship and his parting will be such sweet sorrow. I’m trying to figure the best way to let it go… Any advice? Just needed to unload a bit.
-Bernie
Laurie Richards, Nebraska
The longer we have a particular student, I think the harder it is to see them go. Keep in mind the incredible foundation that you have given him as your student. He couldn’t have gotten it anywhere else and he’ll carry it with him regardless of his experiences with other teachers. You’ve given him a freedom at the piano that he will continue to use as he works on his reading skills. Brava to you, my friend! Ten years is an amazing ‘run’.
A few weeks ago a class of mine in an upper level had a discussion. The parents were commenting to their kids that since all they knew was the Simply Music method, they really had no sense of what they had accomplished as compared to traditional lessons. Their yardstick is Simply Music. I imagine it’s probably the same with your student if it’s all he’s known. If you think about it, it’s pretty cool that their experience is one where the excellence they have achieved is their ‘normal’, so they don’t even realize how incredible it is. Congrats on bringing your student so far!!
Patti P. Hawaii
For many years I felt terribly guilty every time a student quit. I always took it as a personal rejection. It finally dawned on me that every student I ever get will eventually leave; it’s just a matter of when. This one thought has helped me look at losing a student in a more relaxed way. Sometimes I can kind of sense when a student is on the verge of leaving, and sometimes it’s a total surprise.
I have realized over time that there are myriad reasons for leaving, and most of the time it’s for reasons that have nothing to do with me or how I’m teaching.
I’ve also seen that even students who are very much enjoying their lessons and love music often drop out in high school. They get so busy in their lives, and often are under a lot of time pressure. If progressing with their piano playing isn’t one of their main motivations, it’s one of the things that has to give.
I love the fact that, with Simply Music, they are able at a much earlier stage to be self-generative and explore/discover on their own. I think it gives them such a wonderful gift, even if they don’t finish the program or study until they graduate from high school.
All of that to basically say, as teachers, it’s helpful to realize the day they walk in the door that they aren’t ours to keep, but a temporary gift to treasure and nurture.