Parents Wanting to Use the Music Book
Found in: Claiming Territory, Coaches
Whitney M.
Would anyone have any insight on how to respond to this mom? Her daughter was in very slow moving class last year (part of it was because this class is younger – 1st and 2nd grade), part of that may have been a lack of claiming/establishing territory on my part. It took the better part of a year to get this class through level 1, so that is why she is thinking it will be 3 years before Kayla is in level 4.
Just looking for any ideas. I really appreciate her taking the time to outline her thoughts and concerns and want to address them properly.
“Hi, Whitney –
We are going to need to order the music book (with sheet music) for level 1. Kayla can’t remember some of the songs from level 1. We don’t watch the videos and the (reference) notes book does not help me explain how the song is played. I need the sheet music to play as an example for her. Please let me know if this is possible.
I would be interested in talking with you more about piano lessons – possibly without Kayla. I have concerns about not utilizing sheet music yet. I understand she has to go through 3 full levels before sheet music is introduced – which puts her at age 10 or 11, if she keeps up with the rest of the group. I was taught with traditional lessons – which, of course, limits me to only playing sheet music today. So I like the idea of Kayla being able to sit down at the piano without sheet music in front of her and play music. But if she already forgot some of the songs (from June) – it makes me wonder if there really is a benefit from non-sheet music lessons. Reading through your website regarding shared lessons versus private – I agree with all your bullet points and like the program in that respect. At the same time, Kayla is not motivated and it is a real struggle to get her to practice – which is a major part of the problem. I really appreciate any help you can give to get me more comfortable with the program and continue to promote growth with Kayla’s piano learning. Thanks for your help”.
Sheri R., California
If the mom acknowledges the struggle with practice then very likely it will get increasingly harder and she may end up stopping altogether. Remember the single most important ingredient we are supposed to share with our students at the foundation session is to pick a practice time that is “NON-NEGOTIABLE.” If you can get the mom on board with that idea, there should be a big turnaround.
I have two students, a mom who takes an adult shared lesson and her child who is in a shared lesson with her peers. She told me she was giving her daughter 1 month to start practicing or she’d let her quit. (She’s been playing for about a year and is on Level 3 and enjoyed the program for most of the year.) The girl didn’t want to quit but she also didn’t want to practice.
I reminded the mom in a lengthy conversation about the LTR and the big point the mom made to me was “isn’t my daughter supposed to love the process and be on fire and have a passion for this?!!!” I set her straight about that (bringing up school subjects as well as just kind of saying, in my friendly way, “are you kidding?!”) and this past week she played everyday without argument. The mom just said something like “things are going to be different from now on, this is part of your life, you’ll be practicing every day at 4pm even when you don’t feel like it.” Well, it’s pretty impossible to not progress when you’re practicing, so if you could talk to this mom about that being the cornerstone she may realize she needs to get on board as the relationship coach and just make it happen.
As far as talking about the reading not happening for a while, well, there’s so much you could say about that. Some are willing to trust, others aren’t. I am very enthusiastic when I talk about the benefits of not reading for however long it takes (her child talked for at least 5 years no doubt before reading–why should piano be so different?) and the examples I give and my own personal experience are pretty convincing.