Siblings in Shared Lesson
Found in: Foundation Session, Shared Lessons, Student Management
Kathleen P., California
I have two sisters, 9 and 12 in a shared lesson. The 9 year old is a natural at the piano. She picks the songs up quickly, plays them well and even learned Chester just by listening to the audio recordings. She is highly motivated and practices daily. I know what to do with her. It’s the 12 year old that I am concerned about. They have had 5 lessons. The 12 year old is a good student and practices, but not as much as her sister. She struggles with the songs, but gets them when we take it slowly. Sometimes I will just show her one or two things and then she is fine.
It’s not the teaching of SM or moving more slowly with her that is my concern, but the fact of her younger sister doing so well so easily. I understand from the parents that these two fight a lot at home and this seems to potentially be more fuel for the tension already between them. I want to address this now, but not quite sure how to go about it?. Any suggestions?
Cindy B., Illinois
Discover what the older girl is strong at, and exploit it. Ask the parents about her in her daily life – what does she love at school…what does she enjoy with her free time…etc.
Joy V., Texas
I would go ahead and confront it head-on. Ask them directly which one played that song better. Ask them why they think that. You may be surprised (or not) at the answers you will receive. But, based on those answers, direct them to face the issue that one is intimidated by the other (don’t use those words, of course). Talk to them about how normal that is, that no two children are alike, one will always be better at something than another. Then find some way to show each of them that the other is better at something — you play fast, but she plays smoothly — you learn it quickly, but she retains it longer — you practice more, but she listens better. . .
Then pull in the long-term relationship talk and adapt it to the siblings. You’ve only had five lessons with them — that’s barely enough time to begin the “learning to learn” process. You may get three months into this and the 12-year-old will be outpacing the younger. You never know. But the conversation you have now will help you deal with it if and when the younger one is faced with the possibility of being outpaced. And it may get you unwittingly to the source of their fighting.