Student refuses to play
Found in: Student Management
Nikki R., Australia
I had this experience in class this week and I don’t know how to tackle it. My student (9 years old) announced he wasn’t going to play anything. His exact words were” I don’t want to and I don’t have to and you can’t make me”. He generally refuses to play with his left hand but this week was total refusal. His mother is in the room but she just tries to brush it off and joke around with him. I really don’t want to spend 30 minutes each week with this child arguing about whether he will or won’t play. I don’t feel it’s my job to forced a child to play if they don’t like it, is it?
Leeanne I., Australia
Absolutely not. I tell parents it’s their job to mind their child’s behavior. You can’t do your job if they won’t behave.
Joy O., Alabama
Is it a class, rather than a private lesson? You may have to have that difficult chat with him and his mother about doing things your way or stopping lessons. Defiance like that is not a joke. Sure, you can’t make him play, but why is he there if he won’t? I think Neil Moore addresses this situation in Claiming Territory.
Robin Keehn, Washington
Please do listen to The Psychology and Dynamic of Claiming Territory.
Joanne D., Australia
I would tell him to go back out the door and come in when he’s ready to play the piano. I’ve sometimes asked a young student who was being rude or reluctant to go out and come in when they are ready to be polite or cooperative. You have to risk losing them, I guess, and why would you want to put up with that each week anyway?