Judgmental Student
Found in: Adult Students, Free Introductory Session, Student Management
Diane C., California
I need some strength… I just came out of a very intense FIS with 3 traditionally trained adults, a couple and another lady not related. They were focused on my “credentials” etc. and quite combative within explaining about the method. With some rudeness and defensiveness, the two women said this is not for me. I politely and firmly explained that’s okay. I likened it to a gym experience, some like working out on the tread mill and some like to do group classes, yet they are trying to reach their own private fitness goal.
Anyway, short version the gentleman wants to give it a try (for a month or so he said). I heard much reservation in his voice as his wife didn’t think it was for her. But my question is this, I think it is important to put him on the correct track right away. But I feel this deserves more directing than our normal set up, because he and I will be judged immediately.
Sue C., AU
I would accept him only if he commits to x number of lessons, and that during that time explain that his feelings will vary. He must also commit to doing it your way and not accept any influence from traditionally method minded family or friends. Explain that one week he may enjoy Simply Music and another week his experience may be negative. You will expect him to pass through the feeling stage and become committed. Try to slot him in to a spare time that will allow you to take more promising students on in prime times.
You could say one requirement is that you will take charge of the lesson and he must be compliant with your instructions. Mention that he will need to work at being impartial as his wife and friend have expressed that Simply Music “is not for them”. Encourage him for being willing to give Simply Music a fair go and how pleased you are with his attitude and that you understand how difficult it can be to get out of one’s comfort zone and to try something new. You are to be personally encouraged that he is going ahead with lessons. Sometimes praising judgmental people is what they need as it is difficult to say something judgmental if someone has just given you praise. Shake off any rejection as soon as possible.
Don’t become attached to this lesson. Treat it as a business deal so you don’t get hurt if he does leave. If he does leave, be pleased with yourself that you completed your side of the bargain.
Carrie L., Michigan
If it were me.. I’d continue with starting him in lessons, but be prepared that it may not last. If you have a full studio already.. you may consider not taking him or definitely giving him a list of requirements.
I have an adult student who continually was slightly negative about the method and didn’t get it… I’ve tried to continue to have her understand it, but she’s also was continually pushing territory… it came to the point this month that I politely told her I didn’t think we could continue and I’d mail her a check. It’s just not worth it. Perhaps if I was stronger from the beginning it would have been an easier experience, but I do think some continue to push regardless, and it’s too much work for me to continue having to work on territory issues.
Missy M., Nebraska
Yes, I have a suggestion- it’s that some people are just difficult! I have not always had the best response from adults – especially those with traditional training. All of them had different reasons for being awkward, but it’s not you. I am just learning more and more to be okay with the fact that I am not the teacher for everybody – and not just anyone is the right student for me.
Take heart! It is another part of meeting the public! 🙂