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I have lost a student for that very reason. He was in kindergarten and was blazing through foundation one. I have never had a student catch on so quickly, but his father was never happy with the group situation. Eventually, due to swim lessons, I had to put him in private and he still did very well, but dad wanted him reading notes and seemed dissatisfied, eventually pulling him out. He told me it was for financial reasons, but I heard later that he put him in traditional lessons. Only a few months later they pulled him out of that as well because the boy was no longer interested in piano. It really was very sad because this boy was a natural.

I don’t have any great answers for this problem but you might explain to the parent that it would be best to at least give it six months before you decide it’s not for you. That’s what I now tell all of my incoming students – that they need to try for six months in order to get their money’s worth out of it.

Laurie Richards, Nebraska

This is where the Foundation Session content comes in. If you gloss over that content (not saying that you have, by the way), then sometimes parents don’t ‘get’ the purpose of the lesson. Some of those concepts that are really important to emphasize in the first lesson or two:

• The real learning happens at home, not at the lesson (kitchen analogy)
• We will take a non-traditional approach in order to achieve non-traditional results, which may leave you (parent) with questions – they need to ask those questions
• It has emerged that music lessons are best conducted one-on-one (list the reasons from foundation session audio), but we dispense with that idea – learning in a group is far superior (list the reasons)

I spend a lot more time on this stuff than I used to in the beginning. Otherwise there are unmet expectations on their part.  It takes some time to get comfortable with those conversations.  It is still a work in progress for me.

Even if you cover all of those things beautifully, there will still be people who won’t stick with it for a number of reasons. Sometimes the reason given is not the true reason.  For example, a parent may not want to be as involved as we expect them to be. Rather than saying that (even to themselves) they will sometimes instead say that they realized they are too busy, or the method isn’t working for them, etc.

I recently began requiring a minimum of 3 months of lessons, because I believe that it is impossible to assess the method after one month, plus the materials should only be used with a licensed teacher. I don’t collect 3 months up front, but I enforce that policy by requiring automatic payment and having them sign that they understand they will be paying for a minimum of 3 months.

Lyndel K., Australia

I thought I’d just encourage you here. I too only teach groups, and there is one thing I have learned: As the concept of groups is so foreign to anyone who has a traditional one on one concept, we have to change their mind set if they are to relax and get the most out of it.

I always tell them that we are going to “transform the value of a lesson beyond what has always been accepted before. Instead of me spoon feeding every step of your learning, you will be taking responsibility for your learning. I will give you everything you need to create the music, to coach your music, and to inspire your music. This is like me giving you a recipe, in class. I’ll also give you a chance to try of some of the more complex components, and I’ll give you all the ingredients. The joy of learning then takes place at home. This is where you will follow the recipe and play with the ingredients. You are even encouraged to do a re-invention (for those Master Chef fans out there!).”

This is an analogy that Neil teaches, and I think it’s so valuable in changing the mind set. Group is such an efficient, fun, valuable and inspiring way to use a limited lesson time.

As with many aspects of what we do, I am sure to have this conversation early and often. Even if there are no problems, I am waxing lyrical about ‘how much value we got out of today’s lesson… wasn’t that incredible!…can’t wait to sample your ‘cooking’ next week…” I even refer to a new component as a new ingredient.

If we experience the group environment as value for money, and a unique opportunity to interact musically with others, then it will imbue our whole teaching conversation. Permeate your studio groups with confidence, efficiency and enthusiasm. Even if this student leaves, love what you do and remain confident–group is truly a great way to learn!

Having journeyed this cycle many times, I’ve noticed that I never naturally viewed my student losses positively at all. Human nature. However, I now see that it’s in great part because of those losses that I am motivated to adjust or fine tune my delivery. I get better because of them!

So we need to rejoice in the students that are captivated by their music. This is something we have brought to them. Together with those we have had to let go of, we can have the boldness and courage to keep learning… being the best we can be.

Mary R., Michigan

A friend helped me gain perspective on losing students. I was feeling embarrassed that after 10 years of teaching I am still flattened every time someone quits—it just breaks my heart. My friend said that was ok—that it was because I cared so much about my students and wanted so much for them to experience all the joy that SM can bring. I may NEVER stop having a strong reaction when I lose a student, but at least I’ve stopped feeling guilty about how I feel!

Sue C., Australia

About 3 years ago a 5 year old girl had a very short relationship with me during which time I put in extra effort with the family. They left and as she wanted to learn violin which she is now doing.

Here’s the good part. Just this week the mum booked their younger child and herself (the mum) into a shared lesson.

So I think that I must have made a good impression after all. AAH I feel better now!

The longer I teach, the less I go up and down with student loss, but I remember when I started teaching SM and never having taught piano before (that’s a big point too), I would dramatically go down when I lost a student. I took it as a personal rejection. In my head I knew that was not right, but one can’t always change what one feels. I’m so glad to be more in control of those feelings.

Patti P., Hawaii

This is all part of the ups and downs of teaching. I used to be completely heart-broken whenever a student stopped lessons, and it caused me a great deal of pain and feelings of inadequacy.

While I am still sad to see them go, it has helped me to realize that every student in my studio is temporary, whether they are there for a few months or a decade or more. Not one will be with me forever!

This realization has helped me to not feel upset or inadequate when someone makes a decision to stop. Students stop for many reasons, and I’ve found that mostly they are related to other things going on in the student’s lives, completely outside of piano lessons themselves.

I always hope they aren’t leaving due to inadequacies in my teaching, but I have to accept that I am doing my level best to be the best teacher I can be, and that’s all I can do.

It’s a great reason to keep doing FIS’s, even if your schedule is full. You never know when someone is going to have to stop and you will be ready to add another class to your schedule.