Parental non-disclosure of special needs
Found in: Special Needs & Learning Differences, Teaching and Teacher Training
Heidi M., Canada
I’m in a bit of a teacher valley. A brand new 11-year-old student (just one month of lessons) has quit, though we had lots of good Foundation talks and relationship talks. He was progressing slowly but surely with the Basics and RH/LH of Dreams. He had some minor struggles with sentence 2 of Dreams but nothing I have not seen other students overcome easily through practice. He was so excited in the beginning.
His parents texted yesterday and told me he has lot all interest and he is too anxious about lessons. I had a good chat with the mother on the phone and she said he has learning disabilities and is getting therapy for anxiety. He feel terrible anxiety over his piano playing even though his parents and I affirm him a lot. She said she doesn’t want him to feel any more pressure and anxiety and wants to give him a break to reconsider starting him in the new year after he hopefully improves through therapy.
I have learned a big lesson to get far more information about my new students before they begin – i.e. ask the parents to let me know appropriate details about any special needs/emotional issues, or relevant past experiences, so I can approach it differently from the start. I had assumed that if the parents did not mention about special needs, there are no special needs. That was not the case. Lesson learned!
Pat M., Canada
I now have parents and students fill out two questionnaires at the first lesson of the year. One is Getting to Know You Students and the other is Getting to Know You Coaches. I have questions on the student one such as “What is your favorite book, what other activities do you do after school, what is the best thing you like about piano”, etc. For the coaches, I ask “What would you most like me to know about your child, what does your child excel or struggle in at school, what makes your child’s eyes light up”, etc. I have gotten to know my families so much better.
Felicity E., Australia
Tough situation! Don’t be discouraged. It’s not always going to be for everyone. I have had this happen before – a 14-year-old not progressing like I thought she should and I later found out she had a learning disability. After that I added an extra question to my enrollment form asking whether the student had any issues that would affect their learning. It’s surprising how many I have that answer that question.
Jeff O., Massachusetts
Parents are not eager to share about their children’s “issues”. They are hoping things will be different with piano.
Laurie Richards, Nebraska
Many people unwittingly will have lower expectations of students they know have some kind of ‘issue’, and then the child lives down to the expectation.
Kerry V., Australia
Keep in mind that although you ask these questions, the answers are not always forthcoming. I had a student for around 9 years and not once would the mother tell me her child’s “issue”. All I knew was she had an integration teacher at school.
Parents I speak to on the phone have not told me anything until they have arrived. Other parents still haven’t told me until weeks later. I understand this, and a few have told me that yes, they have been knocked back from starting piano because of the special needs, so they have stopped saying anything. One said that they had to know they were going to be understood and accepted. Very sad for the parents in these situations.
Joy O., Alabama
Please don’t be discouraged. But also recognize that, just like we tell our students, you will have valleys and they are not forever. I recently had a mom call about her daughter who has a visual impairment. She told me another piano teacher hung up on her when mom brought up the daughter’s blindness. As a parent of a blind daughter, that hurt my heart! I reassured her that I was willing and able to teach her child. More students are out there. Keep on doing consistent marketing. Keep on through your valley.