Simpedia

Andrea F., Wisconsin

I feel like this happens when parents force their kids to take lessons rather than the child asking to take them.

Kerry V., Australia

Not everything is for everyone.

Pamela S., Missouri

One mom asked a university music department head if she should make her children take piano lessons even if they don’t want to do so. Her answer was “definitely!”. And I can’t tell you how many adults have said, “I wish my mom had make me keep taking lessons”.

This is WHY they are fighting it. But what to do about it? I also wonder how many students I would have if the parents didn’t make their kids keep taking lessons.

I also can’t help but think…math isn’t for everyone, but kids still have to take it for 12 years.

Glenna B., Montana

As a parent, I struggle with this with my own children, as well as with students. I truly believe that children need music education in their lives, especially now that so many schools have cut the programs, including ours. These children need to get out of technology sometimes and develop other skills, but how do we help them to see this?

Laurie Richards, Nebraska

Neil talks about this. Kids know what is negotiable and what isn’t, and they do many things they don’t want to do knowing it’s not negotiable (school, homework, chords, etc.). I think the difference here is that piano is mostly seen as an ‘extra’ rather than a requirement. It’s all in how the parent communicates about it. My youngest son is one of those kids who would rather not do piano at all. He’s in Level 17 now and has developed some level of enjoyment from it and plays most days. He argued for a while. Until he realized I never wavered. I always kept it unemotional and straightforward. I think that’s important to note.

Having said that, maybe there could be some sort of compromise where you move more slowly with those students, work in more outside songs they like, and spend more lessons on repertoire review. I don’t know if that would help or exacerbate the situation – just a thought.

Vicki L., New Zealand

My sons, now adults, both had traditional piano lessons when they were young. I had had them, and despite the fact that I stopped when I was 14, I still wanted them to have piano as well.

They never enjoyed it at all, and when they became teenagers, they told me they resented having been made to learn piano. I felt as though I had done the very thing that had happened to me, to them.

Moving on–despite my traditional experience, and theirs, we ALL have a deep love of music. My youngest is now a beautiful bass player, the older chooses to just listen and enjoy that way. They get it now, what I got all those years ago – that however unenjoyable the experience, certain tools were learned to help us process what was naturally in us all along.

Now I pride myself, as both a professional musician and as a teacher in the passion, on my love of piano and of getting piano into peoples’ lives. Simply Music, without doubt has equipped and ordered the way I can impart especially the LOVE of it, along with all the highs and lows that make us human.

Some children will not keep going with their lessons, but don’t worry about it – you are sowing a very important seed, and that’s part of the gift. They have to take it on when they are ready; battling the proverbial uphill is a human thing. If you’ve tried everything, sometimes you just have to let go, and move on.

Felicity E., Australia

There’s two sides to this: some people just don’t care for music and don’t like learning it, just like some people don’t like sports. I think of it as gift that they can play with both hands and really get a chance to play some songs before they decide it’s not for them. It won’t stick for everyone.

While I agree music should be a requirement, piano isn’t the be-all and end of music education, and while it is such a great place to start, a lot of people try a lot of different things before they find an instrument that really resonates with them. It’s possibly better to let these tortured students go or recommend they try some new instruments.

The musicality, ear training, and things like left/right coordination are not lost skills, so if they decide to try other instruments they will be on the right track. Piano just won’t suit everyone and that’s okay.

The flip side is that so many adults wish they had learned an instrument or kept going with piano, so as a parent I don’t want that to be my children’s story. So I’m persisting with my oldest who is hot and cold about piano but a very musical little person. I resent the fact that I didn’t get the formal musical education that I needed to succeed as a musician early in life, and so much of this success comes down to the family situation. It’s no coincidence that such a high percentage of successful/famous musicians are second generation musicians.