Simpedia

Nicole O., California

How is the emotion displayed? Tears? Outbursts? Defiance?

I had a group of 5 boys a couple years ago and at the first lesson two of them cried. The second lesson another one cried. I realized quickly that anytime one of them thought they couldn’t do something, or something felt awkward/challenging they fell into an ‘I’m not good at this’ and cried. By the third lesson, I coached them on what learning is and related it to the first time they went to soccer practice. Did they know how to play? Did they know rules on that first day? Were they able to trust the coach and learn how to play? They all nodded. After that, anytime I heard one of them say, ‘I can’t do it!’ I’d quickly say, ‘you only have to try. And there’s no crying in piano.’ Which made them laugh.

Cate R., Australia

I mostly smile sweetly and sincerely, say, it’s ok, take a big breath. You’re doing just fine. I don’t make a huge fuss.

Heidi M., Canada

One 6 year old recently cried after I reprimanded her misbehavior. But then I affirmed her and told her I like her, I just did not like what she did. (something to that effect). After that she went to the piano and we had a good rest of the lesson and she was happy by the end of it. A couple of other students sometimes have cried even if they make even the tiniest mistakes. Then I say it’s OK you are learning, it will get easier, no worries, I believe in you. That seems to work.

Kerry V., Australia

I ask them what might be causing the distress. it is a perfect opportunity to go in deeper and knock it out to help move forward.

I love it when we get to the emotional trigger as I can then guide them or help them see a way to over come what ever is happening.

Joy O., Alabama

This is a busy time of year where I am. Students who are in many activities have an end-of-year program for most of them. Prep for programs or tournaments means extra practices, extra things to attend–for themselves and siblings. Our schools also have standardized testing that has mostly just finished, and teachers pass on plenty of anxiety about the tests, which they get from the administration, to do well.

I had a student this afternoon who is just tired. I think she’s in way too many activities: swim, soccer, show choir, scouts, AND piano. She just looked like she could use a rest. We did black notes improv with Eliza soundtrack from MAC. I did not add any new music for her, just encouraged her to keep practicing and to do some improv every day.

I don’t know if this kind of thing may be affecting your students, Kym Ng, but it is definitely affecting mine.
I sometimes have difficulty giving grace and acceptance to young students while at the same time holding parents accountable for supporting practice.

Joan H., Canada

When I see emotion (seems we are mostly talking about sadness or disapointment here, so I’m referring to that), I applaud their ability to show their heart and their sensitivity, especially in boys. I encourage them that its a great life skill to be able to express what they are feeling , and that crying is ok, and by that time, I’m usually in tears too, and it becomes a bonding moment!

Jayne J., Colorado

Mindset is important when sitting down to play music. I believe that at least addressing the emotion is important both in the moment and in how it influences how the student perceives you as a teacher and piano in general. The lesson needs to be a safe place to express because we are always expressing through music. I’ve had teachers who are very cold and distant and only interested in technique and I have to say, that negatively impacted my relationship with piano. Just saying, “you seem upset, can you tell me what’s bothering you?” Address the emotional need first even if it takes up a bit of lesson time. If they’re a bit down, consider starting the lesson with some fun improvisation or let them play a favorite song or two. All this can improve the mindset going forward in the lesson, plus it teaches healthy coping.