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Laurie Richards, Nebraska

That is one option. It is up to you. I would recommend watching the webinars and begin to develop an ease with communicating your requirements and claiming your territory. These are very common issues, as we all know! Working on communicating strongly from the get-go with new classes has transformed my studio and my experience. There is just no better way to avoid these issues and build a strong, reliable student base.

Robin Keehn, Washington

This is a claiming territory issue. If you don’t address it, it will always be a problem with these students. You can address the issue at hand, but to me, it’s bigger than that. If you resolve this without making your requirements very clear (and the consequences of non-compliance), they will find another way to claim territory.

When something like this happens in my studio, I will say: Was there a reason you didn’t learn Dog? Was there a reason you didn’t watch the video (let them answer one question at a time–and don’t let mom answer for them). Remind them that you have a certain role (be their teacher and method coach, show up on time, be prepared for them and help them achieve their goals) and that they agreed to show up with playlist in hand, practice complete, and ready to move forward. Let them know that if they are unwilling to do their job, it’s no problem but that you won’t be able to continue teaching them.

I seriously have that conversation. I’m 100% committed to that. I’m kind and I don’t let any negative emotions impact this; it’s just my commitment to them and to myself. I’ll ask them if they are coachable, meaning that they’ll do what I say even if they disagree, don’t understand, or don’t find it convenient. I’ll look them in the eye and ask them that question. If we can find agreement, they can stay. If not, I let them know that I cannot continue with them right now–until they are ready. Never shut the door. Be sure to use the words ‘right now’. And let them go. Many times this has completely turned things around. Now they know I’m serious and I rarely get pushed after this type of interaction.

Joy O., Alabama

I’m expecting to have this conversation at their next lesson. Mom has already tried to give pushback in other areas (I think she’s taking notes while I’m at the piano with the kids). I’m wondering about whether to call mom in advance so that it’s not in front of the other family. What is your advice?

Robin Keehn, Washington

The advantage to speaking to mom in front of the group is that everyone becomes very clear that you are serious and you establish your boundaries for everyone at once. The downside is that she is highly likely to be embarrassed. In order to not have her feel embarrassed, you have to be able to not have any charge (no negative emotions).

Jeff O., Massachusetts

Tell them next time: no video, no lesson. If they show up again without watching, say “Your parents already paid me to teach you this” and send them home. You will only have to do this once!

Kerry V., Australia

If they come back the third week not knowing (remembering) what to do, and didn’t watch the video, that is their task for the week, to watch nd learn that part from the video.

Patti P., Hawaii

I’m wondering if this is not more of a claiming territory issue on the part of the mother. She obviously feels like they don’t need to use the SHMs. I’m currently only teaching online individual lessons, but when I was still seeing students in person in groups, if part of the class came back unprepared I would tell them I would not reteach what they didn’t do, and it was their responsibility to watch the video to learn it or they would simply be behind and the students who did their homework would progress. If it was an ongoing problem, after having the discussion about requirements, it’s time to let them go.

Laurie Richards, Nebraska

It’s ultimately up to the life coach to ensure that the student follows through, protects the practice time, and completes all required assignments. Long-term relationship conversation!

Gabrielle K., Iowa

My tactic is to throw it back at them, but not in a petty or punitive way. If it’s an issue with the child refusing to listen to mom or dad, I sit down and look at the student and say, “I guess you don’t want a lesson this week? I prepared material for you. If you want to waste your time you can do that, but you’re going to be bored”. It usually fixes itself the next week.