Comparing Students
Found in: Claiming Territory, Coaches, Practicing & Playlists, Shared Lessons, Student Management
Leisa B., Georgia
I need your opinions/input as to how to intelligently respond to a parent who, after the recital sent an email asking me to share my thoughts:
1. I think my child is moving too slow, isn’t being challenged enough, child is very bright (agreed)
WHY? you may ask? because…
2. their cousin is being taught Simply Music in another state, IS the same age but is further ahead than my child- (Have you ever been told this before?)
3. Is the other child in the shared lesson holding my child back?
4. Should we go to private lessons (btw it’s priced much higher to discourage), which we are willing to do?
Here are my facts:
- This student did not keep a consistent practice schedule, nor playlist.
- Life Coach was not adequately involved all year.
- 6 yr old male Student began Simply Music with his best buddy, another 6 yr old Male, over 1 year ago- turned 7 during the year. Above normal challenges with finger dexterity.
- In 48 Lessons has completed Level 1, began Level 2, recital-played I’ll be There, Completed AMB’s 2nd section before recital
I take responsibility for not holding parent even more accountable than I did during the year. She asked me several times if I thought they were going too slow (now I know why). I replied it takes as long as it takes, and when he is consistent in practice, he accomplishes much. When he’s not, we slow down. These are my first Simply Music young beginners. I’m an experienced piano teacher, so I thought I was feeding them as much as they could digest in one week, but indeed, maybe I DID go too slow. Rookie mistake?
What would you do & how would you respond? I appreciate your honesty, no matter what your opinion. I won’t play the ‘blame game’, even though I see many reasons why he didn’t progress as quickly as he could have. I don’t want to play the ‘compare the pair’ of students either. Yet, if the general consensus thinks it’s the answer, I’m totally willing to go there. These are the obvious responses…hoping to hear a different/better view of the situation as well as a positive, diplomatic way to say the hard stuff she may need to hear.
Laurie Richards, Nebraska
Never had that specific question pop up before, but it is very common for parents, and sometimes students, to compare their progress to others, either in Simply Music or traditional lessons. It’s a great opportunity for a conversation about how they view success – i.e. comparing oneself to others vs. comparing where a person is now compared to where he was when he started, or where he was a month ago, whatever.
While there is a typical rate of progress, hopefully parents can measure their children’s progress by considering what new songs/concepts/strategies they have learned, the ease with which those things are played and understood, and hopefully their enjoyment in playing. It can be detrimental to a kid to feel he is always being held up to someone else’s standard which may or may not have relevance to him. This is a conversation I would have with the parent.
Sometimes students see their friends playing something from sheet music and then feel they are ‘behind’ somehow if they haven’t reached the reading program yet. So then we have a conversation about ALL the incredible things they are doing that students in traditional lessons just won’t get – comp & improv, accompaniment, blues, not being paralyzed at the piano without the sheet music, etc. Typically the songs our students are playing are so far above and beyond their friends who have been in lessons a lot longer. And we talk about the advantages of waiting a bit for the reading process.
Back to your student, it is possible that another student in his class could be holding him back; only you can determine that. However, if this student isn’t keeping a regular practice schedule or keeping his playlist alive, then he’s not ready to move forward. The parent needs to understand the importance of that. Personally I would move a student to a faster-moving class until he demonstrated that he was dedicated to practicing and keeping the playlist up.
Stan M., Ohio
Maybe the comparison should made not between the student’s but the life coaches. The question I have asked is like this, “I have seen Tom not have a consistent playlist as well as come in on a few occasions where the projects weren’t completed with various reasons given. Those are all things that the life coach is responsible for just ensuring happen weekly/daily. I see and hear how hectic your life is, so the question isn’t could Tom go faster but do you have or see where you can step up the support to ensure his absolute success? I’m just not interested in going faster unless the support is there to guarantee success.”