Simpedia

Cindy B., Illinois

I’ve allowed this kind of situation in the past – none of those students stayed long. If the parent can’t commit to the lesson time each week, and I’ll guarantee you there ARE things in their schedule that they CAN commit to, then the student will follow suit by picking and choosing his commitments to your requirements.

There’s room in my thinking for the exceptions to exist, but I haven’t met any yet, and it’s not for lack of trying! I have had a higher turnover rate than McDonald’s!

Mark M., New York

I don’t want to make it sound like I’ve had great and broad success with what I’m about to say, as I only have 6 separate lessons (5 shared, 1 private) and so have only done the Foundation Session 6 times. But when I did it, I told people to think of a target, like in archery. The goal is always to aim at the bullseye. But as long you’re aiming sufficiently well — and shooting sufficiently often — you will hit the target enough to keep getting points and do well in the game, even if you don’t hit the bullseye every time. And yet, if you aim/play sufficiently poorly/infrequently, you will miss the target often enough that you will simply not make sufficient progress to be worth continuing to play.

So I then say, look, the bullseye is the ideal:

–Playing based method instead of reading-based
–Commitment to avoid reading music for until introduced in SM
–Practice
–Same daily time slot
–15-20 minutes a day
–Use all the SHMs regularly, including one full run-through same day post-lesson
–Support long-term relationship – commitment to attending lessons and navigating the peaks and valleys of the long-term relationship with music

And you say, hey, that first one is covered, that’s Simply music, and that’s me, the method coach. But I can’t do any of the rest of this. That’s up to parent/student. It’s in your court entirely.

If you do it all every time, you’ll make great progress.

You need some wiggle room because life happens? Because even Neil says that it’s okay to have one day off a week and one flexible-time day? You don’t hit the bullseye every time? As long as you have the bullseye in mind every time and are committed to pursuing it as well as you can, and as you long as you actually *do* pursue it sufficiently, you will make sufficient progress for everyone to feel good about it.

But the key is sufficiently. There’s a threshold. And nobody can say exactly where it is. And if you drop below that threshold, if you pass that line and are far enough away from actually seeking the bulls eye every time, this will not work, and your relationship with music will end. And you need to be clear that it’s in your court to make this happen or not, not in my court, because I am bringing what I can, all I can — the method and the weekly coaching, and everything beyond that is you, not me.

You want the results, these are the things you have to put in. If you put enough of it it, you will get enough of the results to be satisfied. You don’t put enough in you won’t get enough out to be satisfied. This, to me, is the most honest and meaningful results-based approach.

So as for claiming territory, obviously there is potential for a slippery slope. But to me, it’s not about whether doing anything less than ideal is the first step toward failure. To me, it’s about making clear that there *is* room for less-than-perfection, Neil himself admits it in giving flexibility on the practice schedule. To me, it’s about making clear that there is a zone, a certain amount of less-than-perfection, that is still going to get decent results, but that there is a line, and if you cross it and stay there too often, then failure is assured. And you need to make clear that the slippery slope is not yours in terms of claiming territory, it is their in terms of their willingness — or lack thereof — to play their part sufficiently. As long as you are clear about your role, your territory, as method coach, whether they are putting in perfection or less than perfection, if you are clear about the boundary around that role of yours, you will not be ceding territory. The student failing or not is a separate issue from claiming territory. If they fail to put in all they need, they have certainly failed to do their part, but as long as they are clear that it is their failure and not yours and that only they can fix it, then they will not have claimed any of your territory. They only claim territory when you let them think that it’s okay for them to expect you to make up for their failure to play their role.

I have a mom who works and is committed to showing up but doesn’t always make it or doesn’t always make it on time. But from discussion, I know she’s committed otherwise and is very clear about my role vs. her role, and there is no problem. It helps that she has another kid with me at a better time for her, so she sees those whole lessons. But even aside from that, we are clear on roles and responsibilities, and even if she didn’t have that other kid, I’d be comfortable that she is doing what she can and making it work sufficiently. Less than perfect? Yes. Beyond the threshold toward failure? So far, no — and if it went there, we’d be very clear that it was her and not me, so I wouldn’t have ceded territory. I think you — and any other SM teacher — can do exactly this.