Sticking with Your Policies
Found in: Claiming Territory, Shared Lessons, Studio Policies
Francine V., Australia
I have a question – am I mean, or am I being taken advantage of, or is this simply ok?
Group of 3 = mum and two girls, and a group of 1 = nana. Big sister broke away from group of 3, now takes private lessons , so mum and youngest are group of 2.
Group of 2 – little girl feels it is still too much for her with just mum & wants private, but wants something different from big sister.
So I’m giving little girl private & introducing PAS and trying to help with popular songs she likes to sing (adding pressure for me), instead of moving forward through foundations. I am only charging as shared lessons , I know, stupid me – will change for next term.
Because the youngest girl is up in air about piano, mum wants to pay per month instead of per term, I know again, stupid me, and will also change for next term.
Now….
Nana has had enough of foundations. She only wants to learn what SHE wants to learn. I think “fair enough , given her age and prior experience, she’s paying me”. So just doing accompaniment but she wants to play the melody. It is hard to prepare her lessons, she knows how to read, but not that well.
Mum – her two girls are away at camp next week so the girls will miss lessons. She asked: “can she take my lesson today as well as hers, giving her an hour?” (lessons go for 30m) “and next week I’ll take hers as well as mine, giving me an hour next week?”
I know what she’s trying to do, and I do think it’s fair enough. She’s paying for piano lessons that the girls will miss so she’s just trying to get what she’s paid for. I’ve agreed to this. But now she’s just gone a step further – because her two girls will miss their lessons next week, she’s now asked her mum (nana) if she wants to take a 1hr lesson next week!!! I was shocked!
I hope this is not too confusing for you to follow. I think that’s REALLY cheeky and I don’t like it – this is MY business and I feel like she’s bartering MY lessons!!!! Am I being unreasonable, because she HAS paid for them – I don’t want to take her money from her for nothing. (I don’t do makeup lessons because I don’t have the time, not even during school holidays when I treasure that time with my son – but EVERYONE who signs up with me know this before they start).
I spend so much time preparing lessons etc for these guys, now I’ve just wasted another 45m just to type this message! It takes AGES to word it right so that it’s clear to understand!!! And now they’re coming in 15mins and I have to FLY!!!!!
Jo D., Australia
Sounds like you have given an inch and they have taken a mile! You need to claim back your territory as they are dictating to you how you will run your business and you have allowed them. It will probably be difficult to claim back your territory, but you can do it. Perhaps writing out some specific policy guidelines that address the issues will help and you can go through these with this family. I hate to say it but it sounds like they are not committed to the SM method or their role as coach so your 3 legged stool is about to snap.
Make room for more committed students/families and bless and let them go.
Georgia H., Australia
Sounds like you are getting yourself into a bit of a state here. I think it is a case of claiming territory, and because you are so nice and accommodating they’re pushing you further. I firmly believe that sticking to the program is the best way for many
reasons. One being exactly what is happening to you now. You are spending more time working out what to do in their lessons and you could be using that time to be doing admin. or your own practice etc. I’d explain this to them and tell them that next term you are going to stick with the original agreement.
As far as lessons swapping etc. is concerned. I tell my students that it is their time and if they are unable to attend, they can send a sibling or the parent can have the lesson. I have even had a brother of a friend come in for a lesson once and then decided to start learning.
I only do make up lessons if it falls in the same week and is convenient for me. Otherwise you have a list of students wanting to make up lessons, and it can get out of hand. My students know this and appreciate a call to ask them if they can come
in at another time I know someone is away. They also know that it doesn’t happen every time.
Not sure I really understood the Nana 1 hour lesson. Will it mean that you are teaching more than normally or is she filling in for her granddaughters too? basically if you are still teaching and being paid for the same times then ok. Otherwise it’s not good. Students like this, who want to tell you what they want to learn instead of following the program, don’t last long and are usually always difficult. you need to nip it in the bud.
Nicole O., California
What a wonderful experience for you to learn from! The three of these ladies are your best teachers. They will teach you more about your shadow areas than the compliant ones. I know this firsthand:) So… first things first…
- Introducing songs other than SM material before their ready.
This tells them that you don’t believe in the program and how it’s unfolded and that you’re willing to let them be in charge. Direct the parent to the Curriculum Overview. Discuss it with her and get clear about whether or not they are willing to follow your lead, your instructions and so forth. Have them put it in writing or hold up their right hand and say it out loud, “I will follow my teacher’s instructions because I trust that she knows best.”
- Feeling like they paid for lessons so they should get something out of it, even if that means you changing your policies around missed lessons.
This is your feeling. This may or may not be their expectation. Expectation is a funny thing. Once a person is clear about what can be expected, there’s usually no need to discuss other possible outcomes (a longer lesson, for example). If you don’t do make up lessons and they’ve agreed to your policies, you can state something like, “Look, I realize I’ve made an exception for you regarding missed lessons, but I’m not comfortable with this moving forward. In keeping with my policies, if you miss a lesson I will not be offering an extension to your lesson time anymore.” Then just stop talking. Don’t justify it, just let your words sink in.
I could go on, but it just occurs to me that you’re teaching Simply Music to individuals who are not buying into the program. They don’t get it or aren’t receptive to it or something. This is okay. They may do well with another teacher. Best to stand your ground and lose them as students if it comes to that than to lose ground and feel miserable.