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Beth S., Tennessee

In my opinion, as a small business owner, it is your duty to meet the needs of your customers. They are wanting to quit because their needs are not being met, and they are wanting their money back because they feel you haven’t served them. It boils down to you defining your loyalty: either you are 1) loyal to your structure and way of teaching or 2) you are loyal to the needs and concerns of your customer. I would suggest that in most any other business, including all of those where you are the customer, you expect #2 to happen. I also think that in order to stay in business long-term, you must also go with #2. The customer is the one paying you, and so their needs should be priority.

Everyone wants to be satisfied with the money they are spending. These people obviously are not and rightly so. There’s no reason, if their child is zooming ahead and it’s causing trouble at home, that they should spend money to hold him back. We wouldn’t tolerate that done to us in another line of business. If they don’t want to consider your options to accommodate them now–ie your offer of private lesson–I would suggest it’s because deep down they don’t believe you have their best interest at heart. And I think they may be right. Maybe you’ve never communicated it verbally, but your attitude can communicate it. If you believe they are “squirrelly,” then they can probably sense it, and without a word you may have lost them. Of course you would refund them their money beyond the month or whatever severance you require in your policies. It’s only the ethical thing to do and not worth the bad vibes and publicity it may bring you. But I do think you could turn it all around by changing your feelings about them.

Bottom line: you avoid all of this by having an attitude with your customers that makes them trust you and believe with all their heart that you are on their side and doing business to meet their needs. If you inspire this in people, they will work with you and stick with you, and it will create an energy that is inherent in all thriving businesses.

Christine R., Kansas

It seems most teachers have a 30 day notice policy, so at minimum I would keep a month’s worth of their prepaid tuition. I would also point out that quite often siblings are not interested in or adept at the same activities or talents, and perhaps it’s something the older brother would enjoy pursuing and excelling at on his own. Otherwise, there are excited, motivated new students right around the corner, as I say….NEXT!

Elaine F., South Carolina

I’d try private lessons . However, if they withdraw, give them their money back for lessons not taken— maybe keep that month’s worth if it is a middle of the month– but keeping till the end of the year just opens the door to lots of bad will. They do sound a bit squirelly! You may be better off without them.

Shanta H., Minnesota

I hear you about the squirrelyness, but it may be difficult to legally justify keeping the entire payment they’ve made. Do you have a policy of students giving one month’s notice? In that case you could probably justify keeping September’s fees and refunding October-December. If you can separate the fast learner, or perhaps even keep him with the group and give him lots more arrangements and composition/improvisation assignments, you may be able to salvage the situation. But, it will only work if the family is on board with you.

Jan D., Ohio

I’ve had this issue more than once. First of all, a student who appears to be moving faster, may not always be moving faster. I just had one student whose mom asked me if I could assign her daughter more because she didn’t have enough to practice. So, I investigated a little bit and found that the student wasn’t doing half of what she was assigned and the mom wasn’t paying enough attention to what she was practicing. Since then, I have loaded her up with plenty of composing,improvisation, and accompaniment projects because that is what she loves to do while requiring a very high level of accountability for each and everything we do – for example, can she tell me what Sentence 1 of Dreams is, can she explain the diagrams, can she tell me what the 12 Bar Blues order is, etc., etc., etc. Many students who want to move faster end up crashing and burning if allowed to continue too fast because they really haven’t learned what they need to learn, as I’m sure you are aware of, but I do load them up on other projects if they can handle it.

Other students want to move faster to be able to play pieces of their choice, which is completely understandable, and sometimes they are happy with accompaniment projects for pieces they like. And other times they aren’t. I’ve had others who believed if only they could read, they could do whatever they want, so they left to take from another teacher whose starting point was reading.

I have had a few students who really are moving too fast for any group. I have one 12-year-old who is playing late intermediate to early advanced repertoire. Her dad is a music professor so she isn’t an average student. I always keep them playing a duet together even though he isn’t a student and she plays in public quite often so she gets the experience of playing with others even though she is in a private lesson.

So, I would say to investigate a little more deeply to see where this student really is and if this is a parent who really is being the coach she needs to be or if she is just letting the kids do what they want. A friend of mine at the studio where I teach just had two sisters quit because the older sister didn’t want to play an assigned piece. The mom contacted the store to be referred to another teacher. The store referred them to me, but I wouldn’t take them because the mom lets the kids decide when they want to come to lessons, what they did and didn’t want to play, etc.

There are so many things that could be going on here that it might be worth investigating a little more… I’ve managed to save quite a few students…

Lori N., Utah

It seems so natural to put siblings into shared lessons. It’s so convenient and I’ve often done it myself. But the situation you describe is all too common. They are so often at different stages of development over all and the constant comparison at home can be too much sometimes. In a way, having siblings be the group can water down the experience for both the teacher and the family.

Laurie Richards, Nebraska

I would like to respectfully offer a different point of view.

It depends on what has been communicated regarding the expectations and requirements in your studio. I have learned over the years, and as my studio has grown, to be crystal clear about everything in my Studio Handbook. If it doesn’t work for someone, that’s completely fine, but I’m not going to compromise quality to keep someone from becoming upset. If you give families whatever they want in order to keep them happy, then you are operating a request-based studio rather than a requirement-based studio.

As a customer of any business, I understand that businesses need policies and structure in order to stay alive and viable. I expect them to honor anything that has been promised, but I don’t expect them to do whatever I want to keep me happy.

So, the question is….what has been communicated or promised? And, considering the size of your studio, how much flexibility can you afford that works for you, your business and your family? The ‘customer’ is not the only person involved and should not be allowed to dictate how YOU run your own business!

For this issue and for scheduling issues, I have a couple of sections in my Studio Handbook called “Flexible Learning Environment” and “Scheduling”. It covers anything like this that might come up, leaving no room for ‘surprises’. You are welcome to look at it on the resources page of my website (in my signature).

Just this morning I had a dad storm out of my studio very angry. I was working in the office, and he had 2 boys in class with another teacher. Dad was with 2 younger kids in the play room so the kids in class had no coach. The family has been extremely inconsistent with who attends with the kids (mom, dad, nanny, sister, nobody). Since I happened to be there, I spoke to him about the requirement of having a coach present at every lesson, of which both parents were well aware. I explained to him that we are committed to delivering the curriculum with 100% integrity and giving our students the very best possible experience, which includes the coach. He said they travel a lot and it’s too hard, and he’s paying a lot of money for this. I suggested a few ideas.

After talking for a few moments, he became very upset, told me to get out of his way, grabbed the little ones, took the unsuspecting older 2 kids out of the middle of class and stormed out saying they were done. It was an unexpected outburst, and I felt absolutely horrible for his kids who had no idea what was happening when he made a scene in class. I followed up with a carefully worded e-mail to both parents including my favorite Neil phrase, “I completely understand how busy you are and that you travel a lot. I get it; it just doesn’t work in my studio.” I will never bend clearly communicated rules to keep someone happy because of a busy schedule. It’s nothing more than a simple choice they must make.

That may be an extreme example, and I am not completely inflexible – depends on the circumstance. For me the bottom line is not keeping everyone else happy under any circumstance, but running a respectable business with very clear requirements and expectations and a promise of unprecedented results when those are followed. And doing this in a way that doesn’t compromise my family. Your obligation is to honor what has been promised.

Unknown

I would like to concur with Laurie on this one. Here is an example of my worst parent so far.

The dad likes to moan about everything. He didn’t like going from privates to shared. Made a huge scene. “That is the policy” I said. A month later he told me how much better she was doing in the group.

He got behind payments. I told him I needed paid. He yelled at me for not billing better and letting him know he was behind. I said I would work on that but still needed to be paid. He paid.

He complained when the rates went up. I told him that I needed to be able to keep up with market demand and that was what the price was. And he paid.

Adults are just as good at throwing temper as kids. I don’t feel a need to react to them any more than I would a kid’s. I suggest you need to listen to parents, but stand firm on the studio policies. If you are unable to meet their needs, then give them a refund. If they are complaining just to complain then they can decide if they want to keep their investment in your studio.

Beth S., Tennessee

Studio policies are necessary for maintaining a structured and orderly business; however, the purpose of the business is student progress and learning. In my opinion, sometimes student progress must trump studio policies, otherwise the purpose of the business gets lost in rules and regulations. I still say that customer satisfaction is priority. That doesn’t mean catering to everyone’s whims but rather being flexible and having a spirit of creating win-wins for everyone. It’s about balance and the spirit of the thing. The original post in this thread was about a student being held back to the point where it was causing problems at home in the family dynamics. As a parent, I wouldn’t sacrifice my time and money for anything that wasn’t positively contributing to my family; however, I would genuinely appreciate someone who felt my concerns and showed an effort at working them out. A teacher should be sensitive to these issues and honestly should probably address them before the parents even need to. Standing on a soapbox about policies assumes that people are out to take advantage and creates an unnecessary spirit of defensiveness. People can feel and read it, and while they may dutifully comply, it doesn’t really inspire loyalty. I’ve tried both ways and feel that I have a much better spirit amongst my students and parents than when I was so legalistic. Yes, it is my business, but without the “customers,” I have no business at all.

Jeff O., Massachusetts

Wow-thanks, everybody for the responses! I’ll just add a few details-I was angry with this family when I made my original post, and when my adrenaline went back to normal, I wrote to the mom. I left out the matter of a refund out for the time being, and made the suggestions that I think are in the best interests of the students-I’ll keep you all posted about the response. My note is below.

If I seemed to be insulting my customers when I called them “squirelly”- that’s because they went from being so committed to the program that they paid five months ahead to we’re quitting today with NOTHING in-between.

Mom agreed to stick with one more month, though I won’t be shocked if they just bail, in which case I’ll give them a partial refund. I know they’ve interviewed other teachers-because the boy told me! This without anybody ever expressing any dissatisfaction to me. Maybe “squirelly” isn’t rude enough!

Whatever happens with this family, here’s what I’m clear about: have a policy regarding giving notice. I know some teachers require “first-and-last-month”. I think I’ll put that in place for new students, but I can’t require it of current students. And, I think I’ll discourage advance payment beyond that-it is a financial hardship to refund two students’ multiple months tuition.

Dear Mary,

Here is my thinking about our circumstance:

Not long ago, you made a commitment to lessons for the rest of the year with your pre-payment, which I did not require or request. I am willing to be flexible with fulfilling my end of the agreement represented by that.

Because Alexander will likely continue to make faster than average progress, I’d like to try a private lesson. I can promise he will be challenged, and guarantee that he will learn skills and strategies that will serve him in any musical context going forward. One of my goals (brilliantly supported by Simply Music) is to empower self-generating musicians who take more and more responsibility for their own learning and have more and more input about the content of their lessons. That said, I do not think Alexander is ready to move outside the curriculum much at this point. But he may be ready for the Accompaniment program, in which chord theory is applied, and we can do more improv and composition. I look forward to talking with him and you about that.

Miranda is progressing at a rate I have come to see as average, and I hope she will stay in class with Cassidy.

You said that it is too difficult having them both doing the same curriculum. I recommend that we try separating their lessons. Of course, that requires double-duty for the coach, but you would have that challenge as long as they both take any kind of lessons that require parent involvement, which all effective methods do. No child can navigate this long-term-relationship on their own.

Let me know your thoughts.

Hamish G., New Zealand

Thank you for your thread about quitters. I think the thing to remember that every student, family and situation is different. I have had a few students pull out recently since I have started to become tougher on payments and requirements – while it is difficult, I make sure that the conversation I have with the family leaves both parties feeling they are winning.

If I can see a potential fight brewing, then I need to consider, is it worth it? Yes, I understand that part of a requirement based studio is firm policies and guidelines but each situation is different. If people have been loyal and good clients, I am happy to accommodate a bit more but if they’ve been haphazard and inconsistent with payments etc then I’m more insistent on policies.

Good on you for offering alternatives. As for the 5month prepayment, there may have been other factors – ie, at the time the money was available – bonus, inheritance etc, but I would not be keeping 3months prepayment – that’d come back to bite.